“Morning after Oscars, I ate three cheeseburgers and had a milkshake.” – Lady Gaga
I Have Too Many Words To Say About The Academy Awards…
…So I’ll let these pictures speak for themselves.
Isn’t It Ironic?
And I don’t mean “ironic” in an Alanis Morissette way, I mean “ironic” in the real way, but, it’s ironic that I have so much to say about the Oscars, since I’ve hardly seen any of the nominees. (Is that even ironic? I don’t know. I just know that it isn’t ironic when it rains on your wedding day… I think).
Anyhow, 12 Years a Slave? Didn’t see it. Philomena? I didn’t even know that movie existed. Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Dallas Buyers Club, The Wolf of Wall Street? Saw none of them (but I really want to!).
You can imagine the paralysis that struck me when my film professor handed us Oscar ballots for extra credit if we predicted the outcome correctly. I basically picked everything involved with American Hustle because it was the only one I had seen at that point (it should be a law for every human man, woman, and child to watch any and all Jenifer Lawrence films). I did get around to seeing Captain Phillips, however, before awards night (still shocked that Tom Hanks wasn’t nominated for Best Actor).
Speaking of, who knew that Matthew McConaughey had it in him to win an Oscar for anything, ever? Congratulations, but, Heavens to Betsy, what a U-turn for a career previously defined by abs (not unlike Ben Affleck’s turnaround with Argo last year).
It Wasn’t Just A Big Night For Good Movies…
The Thirty-Fourth Annual Golden Raspberry Awards honored their own filmography alongside the Eighty-Sixth Academy Awards. “Honor” is a strong word, since these gold-spray-painted statuettes are awarded to the worst in film every given year.
The same night I visited home and watched Captain Phillips, I stayed up until three in the morning watching, at long last, Machete Kills (quite the range in cinematic experiences), which I had wanted to see for months because of, well, Gaga. It took me so long because I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to see it with me, and I feel more than a little guilty for charging the pay-per-view onto my grandparents’ cable bill, but it’s still outrageous that Gaga was nominated for Worst Supporting Actress. I’m not biased or anything, but her appearance lasted all of five minutes, and Machete is supposed to be bad!
But, she got to party at the Oscars with Elton John and Donatella Versace, so, I don’t want to hear it, Razzies.
Moral Of The Story
Watching movies is hard when you’re grown up, and even harder when you’re in college. You have to balance between budgeting a night out at the theater into your funds, budgeting the time out, and finding friends whose budgets get along with yours. (I haven’t gone to the movies by myself yet, not because I’m too proud, but because I don’t have access to a car).
Still, it’s important to respect cultural events such as these. To quote Best Supporting Actress winner Lupita Nyong’o, may that little, golden man be a reminder that “No matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.”
Thank you for reading. Cinema is the stuff dreams are made of – enjoy it whenever you can.
Paws up, and go Rams.